Have you ever sat down and thought about what your perfect day might look like? Who would you want to spend that day with? What would you want to do?
I thought about this for the first time a while ago, when I was feeling aimless in my life and I wasn’t sure what I was working toward. I was saving up money in the hopes of achieving financial independence, but even that didn’t mean much—because once achieved (someday far-off), what would I even do with all that free time? Why was I so focused on achieving that goal? And how much money did I need to have saved and invested? What expenses would a typical day involve?
When I thought about the things that I wanted to achieve, I thought about writing stories, picking up an instrument again, learning a foreign language to fluency, and creating fulfilling relationships with the people around me. But I can’t spend every day doing only these four things!
So I started considering what I wanted a typical day to look like in my dream life. A “typical day” excludes vacations to exotic locations, celebrations of big life moments, skydiving, attending concerts or sports games—anything that couldn’t be repeatable on a regular basis due to cost or access.
My dream days
An example of the kind of day I dream of might be:
- Reading a newspaper or magazine over a light breakfast
- Going for a hike in the woods with a friend
- Picking up lunch from a local farmers market
- Spending a couple of hours at a coffee shop working on my writing
- Attending a language class
- Cooking a simple, healthy dinner at home
- Watching an episode of a new show
- Listening to music or a podcast while doing a jigsaw puzzle
Another example could be:
- Going to work at a part-time job or volunteering position
- Having lunch with colleagues or friends at a local restaurant
- Taking an afternoon kickboxing class or club meeting
- Going to see a movie in theaters
- Picking up take-out for dinner
- Reading before bedtime
When I refer to a “dream day,” I don’t mean to suggest that you dream of doing those same things every day. And these are just examples; it’s likely unrealistic to fit all this into one day.
But if you write down 2-3 iterations of a dream day, you’ll probably see a pattern emerging. And that pattern can help you determine what activities really bring meaning to your life.
Dream days reveal our values
Things Your Dream Day Probably Includes:
- Spending time with loved ones
- Eating a good meal
- Spending time in nature
- Getting out of the house
- Attending a local event like a small concert or house party
- Achieving something, such as learning something new, giving back to your community, or reaching a goal
- Having good conversations
- Feeling connected to your community
- Feeling present in the moment
Things Your Dream Day Probably Doesn’t Include:
- Spending lots of money
- Buying more stuff
- Driving long distances or commuting to work
- Cleaning or organizing your house
- Spending hours on social media
- Taking pictures of every moment
I write about simple living and unplugging on this blog precisely because, for most of us, our priorities don’t involve owning more material possessions, keeping up with the Joneses, or spending quite so much time online. Embracing a simpler style of living can create space for the experiences that bring meaning to our lives.
Why map out your dream day?
Thinking about my dream day helped me figure out what I’m working toward. What’s the life that I want to be living? What’s lacking in my life right now in comparison?
Retirement Planning
For people who are approaching retirement (and I have several friends and family members making that transition), it can be hard to figure out how to fill those hours that were previously dedicated to work. The advice I’ve heard repeated is not to think about what you’re retiring from, but to figure out what you’re retiring to. Some people want a project, like taking up woodworking, volunteering, or painting. Others aren’t passionate about anything—or don’t haven’t found something to be passionate about yet because they’ve devoted their entire lives to their careers. Imagining a dream day might help in figuring out what you want to spend your retirement doing. And if you’re close to retirement but your life doesn’t at all reflect those dream days, think about how you’re going to transition.
Spending Your Time Intentionally
Over the last few years, I’ve noticed a huge gap between what I want to spend my time on and what I actually spend my time on. For example, I’m always thinking to myself that after work I’ll study some Spanish and then I end up watching TV because I’m so tired from commuting. Or I’ll plan to go for a walk during lunchtime but I don’t because it’s cold outside, so I end up streaming YouTube videos for thirty minutes instead.
But figuring out what I’m working towards may be helpful in motivating me to do the things that will get me, little by little, closer to that day. And having the dream day examples written down can also provide a blueprint for myself for those weekend days when I have nothing planned—just look at that “dream day” and pick an activity off the list. I’ll probably be more fulfilled come Monday.
Your dream day and your goals
This exercise is similar to thinking about what goals you want to achieve before you die. And I don’t think these things are contrary—in fact they’re complementary. Do both!
Big goals (such as owning your home or taking that round-the-world trip) don’t usually govern your day-to-day routines, which is why I think it can be valuable to imagine what your perfect day would look like. You might fit in some time every day to work on your life goals, but in that case, build that into your dream day. If you want to write a book, add an hour of writing to your dream day. If you want to speak Portuguese fluently, add a language class to your dream day.
Financial Goals
I especially think these two exercises are complementary when thinking about finances. We all have to plan for our retirement and for other major purchases (homes, vacations, education, etc.). Personally, I’ve been pursuing financial independence (the point where investments/savings would cover your living expenses, meaning work becomes optional), but hitting that goal of financial independence requires me to know what my ideal life would look like.
If I wanted to live in downtown San Francisco, go out to eat every night, and take luxury vacations, I’d need to save a whole lot more money than if I wanted to live in a small apartment in a rural town, cook my own meals, and go camping. Thinking about my dream days helps me formulate the necessary budget for that goal of financial independence—and this applies to all of us, because we’ll all hopefully retire one day and be forced to live off of our savings.
It can be tempting to always chase that promotion, that higher salary, because more money is always a good thing, right? But what if it isn’t necessary? What if your dream life doesn’t require more money? Would you work harder, take on more responsibility, for more money that you don’t even need? Or would you rather take that time and energy and put it towards something more personally meaningful?
Do your goals align with your dream days?
Writing down your dream days can also help you see where your stated goals don’t actually line up with your priorities. We’ve all been sold an ideal of owning a single-family house in the suburbs, achieving a management position in our careers, and showcasing our wealth through material possessions. And if that’s what you want, then great! But if it’s not, then you shouldn’t let other people’s opinions tell you what to value.
If you’ve been devoting time to your career and working towards that house in the suburbs, but your dream days list things like eating out every night, walking everywhere, experiencing stand-up comedy and art museums, and stopping at the corner grocery store, then something is out of alignment. If you’ve always have a goal of living in Paris someday, but your dream days involve country walks, gardening, foraging in the woods, spotting local wildlife, and a slow pace of life, then you may need to address the fact that your goals may have changed—that you’ve changed—since you first envisioned your life goals.
How are you going to make it happen?
That was the fun part. You know what you’re dreaming about, but how to make that dream day reality is much harder. For some, that could mean reaching financial independence, which is no small feat. For others, it could mean reorganizing your schedule to make time for relationships or new hobbies. It could mean completely changing your spending habits to shift your spending from something less fulfilling (like buying stuff) to something more fulfilling (like music lessons).
You could hold onto this dream day list and save it for retirement, when you have more time and freedom. But that would be delaying your most fulfilling life.
If you are amazingly in tune with yourself, maybe your daily life already mirrors your dream days. But I’m guessing you wouldn’t have read this far into the post if that were the case. My daily life certainly doesn’t match my dream life!
Start Small, but Start Now
Begin by fitting some of the activities from your dream day into your week. Start small: Call up a friend you want to connect with more often. Plan a walk every Sunday morning. Start putting $20 a week into savings.
Cut back on the things that don’t fit into your dream days: Buy fewer unnecessary items. Create efficient routines for chores so they don’t take up as much of your free time. Put away your phone an hour before bed.
Try to incrementally add aspects of your dream days into your daily or weekly routines. You could make a “dream day” image board or ideal weekly schedule and keep that posted at your desk or in your planner, to serve as motivation. For example, I need to save up a lot of money for my dream days to become reality, so keeping my dream weekly schedule written up and posted in my planner reminds me to spend less and simplify.
Conclusion
Ultimately, this whole post is only a suggestion. I’m working on it myself. I can’t say that I’ve run through this exercise and made my dream days my every days. I’m a long way from achieving my ideal life. But it’s something I’ve been thinking about as I try to simplify my life so I can shape it into something more meaningful. I hope some day I can come back to this post and report that I’m living my dream days.
